Short screenplay for the July 2018 "Summer Camp" contest.


Sweet Summer Rosie

FADE IN:

EXT. OVERGROWN COUNTRY LANE - DAY

A beat-up sedan rolls to a stop.

INT. SEDAN - DAY

DAD and MOM are middle-aged and angry.  In the back seat, 
ROSIE is a pale teen girl and HAM is God's mistake, a chubby 
curly-haired ginger.  The kids wear scout type uniforms 
that don't fit them.

                      DAD
          You know what you have to do?

                      ROSIE
          Yeah. Are you sure this is such a 
          good idea, though?

Mom glances at Dad, he slowly turns round and glares.

                      DAD
          They took away our livelihood.  
          You better remember that. Those 
          sons of b!tches...

He points down the road with a stabby finger--

EXT. CAMP WOODLAND ADVENTURE - DAY

If you're into spending summer in a camp by a lake, this 
is where you'd dream about, it's like a Disney fantasy.

Kids disembark from buses and enter the camp, taking in 
the wonders of Camp Woodland Adventure.

INT. SEDAN - DAY

                      DAD (CONT'D)
          ...came in here and built their 
          shiny whorehouse and took OUR 
          customers away from us.

                      ROSIE
          Being honest I can see why, it 
          looks fabulous.

Dad reddens and shakes like a volcano about to blow.

                      HAM
          Yeah, our camp looks like a sh!thole 
          compared with--

                      DAD
          SHUT UP, HAM.

                      MOM
          You better listen to your dad.

Dad realizes Rosie is smoking.

                      DAD
          Put that cigarette out! When the 
          hell did you start smoking?!

                      ROSIE
          Dad, I'm nineteen. I've been 
          smoking since Kindergarden.

Dad shakes his head, breathes deeply to calm himself.

                      DAD
          Our regulars abandoned us after 
          they laid eyes on that Sodom and 
          Gomorrah yonder. We just ain't 
          good enough for them any more.

                      ROSIE
          You sure it wasn't anything to do 
          with the boys who went missing?

                      DAD
          We found them, didn't we? Dumb 
          sons of bitches wandered off and 
          got themselves lost in the woods, 
          that's not our fault.

                      MOM
          And God did look down upon that 
          city and curse its inhabitants for 
          their sins of beastial fornication.

                      DAD
          Yes He did, but maybe we can stay 
          focused, honey.

                      HAM
          They went looking for food, they 
          were starving, everyone was, you 
          never fed them enough.

                      DAD
          SHUT UP, HAM! OUR PORTIONS WERE 
          ADEQUATE.

                      MOM
          Those soddomites fvcked each other 
          in the a$$es and they paid the 
          price, amen.

                      DAD
          Okay honey, that's plenty.
               (to Rosie and Ham)
          Soon as you get the chance, you 
          dump the laxative in the water 
          supply.

                      HAM
          Yeah!  We got it.

                      ROSIE
          It still seems kinda--

                      DAD
          If we can't beat the ba$tards fair 
          and square, we'll sh!t 'em out.

                      MOM
          Then you get yourselves out of 
          there and make your way to the 
          rendezvous. We'll be waiting.

                      DAD
          Let's see how they like having 
          their names plastered over the God-
          damned news!
               (calms down)
          It's time, off you go.

Rosie and Ham open their doors and get out, humping shoulder 
bags and suitcases. 

                      MOM
          Do us proud, kids!

EXT. OVERGROWN COUNTRY LANE - DAY

Rosie and Ham set off down the road.  Behind them the sedan 
reverses, turns around and drives away, belching a cloud 
of black fumes.

EXT. CAMP WOODLAND ADVENTURE ENTRANCE - DAY

Just as the very last kids leave their bus and enter the 
camp, Rosie and Ham hurry to catch up with them.

INT. CHECK-IN TABLE - DAY

Manned by MILTON and VERONICA TRUE, who welcome new arrivals 
with a smile and tick off names on clipboards.  Their 
handsome teen kids DALE and LINDA look squeaky clean in 
their uniforms, they direct the kids to their huts.

As the incoming kids thin, Veronica checks her clipboard.

                      VERONICA
          We're short two.

                      MILTON
          Look, here they come now.

Rosie and Ham arrive at the check-in table.

                      VERONICA
          Do you charmers have names?

                      ROSIE
          Yes we do, I'm Maddie and this is 
          my brother David.

Milton checks his list, and--

                      MILTON
          You would be the Dickwoods.

                      ROSIE
          Unfortunately yes.

INT. SEDAN (MOVING) - DAY

Dad drives, Mom looks back over her shoulder, hearing 
THUMPING noises from the trunk.

                      MOM
          You brats better shut up, if you 
          don't want dumped in the lake!

The thumping stops.  Dad nods, pleased.

EXT. CHECK-IN TABLE - DAY

Rosie catches Dale's eye, he looks her up and down.  
Veronica notices this hormonal interplay.

                      VERONICA
          Linda, please show Miss Dickwood 
          to the girls' hut.

Linda smiles and beckons to Rosie.  As Rosie moves past, 
Veronica hands her a sheet of paper.

                      VERONICA
          These are the camp rules. Pay 
          special attention to the map.  
          You'll notice the boys' hut is on 
          this side of the fence, and the 
          girls' hut is on the other side.  
          You want to guess what happens to 
          anyone who crosses the fence?

                      ROSIE
          What fence?

Veronica leans in close, threatening.

                      VERONICA
          Me. I'm the fence. The electric 
          fence. Bzzzzzt.

                      ROSIE
          Ma'am, I'm not sure what that means.

                      VERONICA
          Make sure you don't.

Linda leads puzzled Rosie away.

EXT. CAMP WOODLAND ADVENTURE - GIRLS HUT - DAY

                      LINDA
          Don't mind my mom, she's real nice 
          once you get to know her. So what 
          did you do?

Rosie's puzzled again, Linda smiles.

                      LINDA
          To get sent here. You didn't 
          volunteer, that's for sure.

                      ROSIE
          So what do you guys do for fun?

                      LINDA
          Besides long walks in the woods 
          and paddling canoes in the lake?

                      ROSIE
          Jesus no, I meant at night.

                      LINDA
          We play guitar and sing around the 
          camp fire and swallow bugs mostly.

                      ROSIE
          The kind of fun I meant doesn't 
          involve swallowing "bugs," if you 
          know what I mean.

Rosie looks significantly at Dale, who is taking Ham to 
the boy's hut on the other side of the communal dining hut 
in the middle. Dale looks back at her.

Linda opens the girls' hut door for Rosie.

                      LINDA
          My, you are a feisty one. My mom 
          catches you anywhere near my 
          brother, it's a phone call to your 
          parents and you're in a taxi home 
          first thing in the morning. Watch 
          your ass, feisty girl.

INT. GIRLS' HUT - DAY

Eager beaver GIRLS put their clothes away in lockers.  
They stop to look at Rosie, in the doorway. Rosie drags 
her suitcase to the end of the hut, to the last bed. She 
dumps her bags and lies down.

                      ENTHUSIASTIC GIRL
          We're going swimming in the lake!

                      ROSIE
          Damn, I forgot my costume.

INT. BOYS' HUT - DAY

BOYS unpack and whatnot, Dale shows Ham to the last bed.

                      DALE
           Need any help unpacking?

                      HAM
          I'm good!

                      DALE
          Okay. Once you're settled, follow 
          the others down to the lake shore.

                      HAM
          Will do. My sister's a slut.

                      DALE
          Good to know.

Dale exits. Ham looks around, sizing the place up. Through 
a window he sees the dining hut.

                      PREJUDICED BOY (O.S.)
          Ginger!

Ham's eyes narrow, his pudgy hands curl into fists. But 
then he slowly smiles, as if he knows something they don't.

INT. GIRLS' HUT - DAY

Rosie, lying on the bed, reaches down and unzips her bag, 
takes out a bottle. INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH LAXATIVE. She 
studies it for a moment, then drops it back into her bag.

EXT. CAMP WOODLAND ADVENTURE - DAY

Dale directs the boys to the lake shore. They don't need 
a lot of directing, they jump right in.

He sees Linda directing the girls to further along the 
lake shore. He looks thoughtfully at the girls' hut.

EXT. DINING HUT - DAY

Ham moves like a fat ginger ninja, pressing himself against 
the hut. In his hand, a laxative bottle. He rises up on 
his tip-toes, peers through a window.

                      ROSIE (O.S.)
          Ham, stop.

Ham spins round, caught by surprise.

                      HAM
          Wha'd'ya mean, stop? We gotta do 
          this. For Mom and Dad.

                      ROSIE
          Dad's all eaten up inside with 
          bitterness and Mom's as crazy as 
          he is. This is just wrong. It 
          won't help us get Camp Heehawhooha 
          up and running again. The place 
          is a condemned wreck.

Ham is conflicted, obey Dad or listen to his sister.

                      HAM
          Dad's gonna be mad if we don't.

                      ROSIE
          I'll handle Dad. We should grab 
          our things and go.

Ham ponders, then nods and heads back to the boys' hut.  
Rosie turns to leave but Dale is standing there. He heard.  
Rosie looks away, ashamed and unable to meet his gaze.

                      DALE
          What's in the bottle?

                      ROSIE
          Something nasty that would make 
          everyone poop for days.

                      DALE
          Why? Why would you do that?

                      ROSIE
          Camp Heehawhooha.

                      DALE
          Camp what?

                      ROSIE
          You put my family out of business.  
          With your shiny... camp. And you 
          don't even know.

                      DALE
          If that's true... I'm sorry.

                      ROSIE
          Don't worry about it. We're outta 
          here. You won't see us again.

Rosie turns and walks away. Dale watches her go.

EXT. CAMP WOODLAND ADVENTURE ENTRANCE - DAY

Rosie and Ham exit the camp. Rosie finds Dale leaning 
against a post, waiting. Ham walks on, so they're alone.

                      DALE
          Why'd you change your mind?

                      ROSIE
          I don't know.

                      DALE
          I think you do.

                      ROSIE
          What, you mean like my conscience 
          bothered me? Pfft. Why are you 
          here?

                      DALE
          Sometimes, when you meet someone 
          at camp, someone you like, you 
          exchange phone numbers.

                      ROSIE
          Eww, that's so rom-com.

Rosie stands up on her tip-toes and kisses him.

                      ROSIE (CONT'D)
          Not happening, sorry. Goodbye.

She steps away and sets off after Ham.

Dale smiles, shakes his head and walks back into the camp.

EXT. OVERGROWN COUNTRY LANE - DAY

Rosie throws both laxative bottles into bushes.

                      ROSIE
          We tell Dad we did it. Not our 
          fault if it doesn't work, right?

                      HAM
          Okay. Do we keep the uniforms?

                      ROSIE
          Maybe next time.

FADE OUT

                                                        Jul 2018