THE LAST LAUGH EXT. OLD HOUSE IN THE WOODS - DAY It's an abandoned wreck, the windows are black pits as the sun sinks toward the horizon. Night isn't far away. An SUV approaches, slows, stops. The engine is switched off. Doors open, four people climb out. CINDY, 20s, pretty but with a tough punk look that doesn't invite you to ask for her phone number. She pulls out a pair of Desert Eagles and checks them before sliding them back into the armpit holsters beneath her leather jacket. DOLLAN, 20s, a tech-geek with goggle spectacles and a rugged tablet with a clip-on scanner. He looks kinda wimpy and tends to stay at the back if trouble kicks off. HORST, 30s, a grim lump of muscle who could easily play a Terminator in a movie. He carries an M134 Minigun with a big ammo drum. A Minigun has six rotating barrels and can shoot 2000 rounds per minute. Last out of the SUV is FATHER ORTEGA, 50s, a priest wearing a dark suit and sporting a goatee. He carries the tools of his trade, a Bible, a silver crucifix, rosary beads. He looks around nervously. DOLLAN (checking his scanner) This is the place. CINDY It doesn't even appear on the map. Either they forgot about it, or someone went to great lengths to have it erased. FATHER ORTEGA I sense a great evil. He makes the sign of the cross. CINDY Let's hope it doesn't sense us. She considers the position of the about-to-be-setting sun. CINDY Okay we have less than an hour, let's do this if we're going to do this. FATHER ORTEGA Would it not be wiser to come back in the morning? CINDY He could be gone by then, Father. His followers are everywhere, ready to take him in and conceal him. This could be our only chance. Let's put our trust in God, yeah? HORST Sure, that's always worked before. Horst advances toward the house. INT. DARK HALLWAY - DAY A door is kicked open, light floods inside. Revealing a peeling, rotten place. The four enter, Horst first, Minigun ready. Dollan behind him. Father Ortega after, still looking nervous. Cindy brings up the rear, looking over her shoulder every couple of seconds. When Father Ortega hesitates she puts her hand on his shoulder and gives him a "keep moving" nudge. They reach-- JUNCTION OF HALLWAYS Doors ahead, and to left and right. Horst looks at Dollan. DOLLAN (quietly) Well now, this is interesting, and also scary, we have movement on all sides, and also above us. HORST Maybe I shouldn't have kicked the door open. CINDY The presence of guardians mean he's here. Find us a way into the cellar. That's where he'll be. Somewhere without windows. Dollan checks his scanner and nods, straight ahead. END OF HALLWAY A heavy door stops them. Horst reaches out tentatively, grabs the handle, pulls the door open. A TEEN VAMPIRE GIRL lunges at him, mouth open impossibly wide, fangs ready to rip and tear. Horst RAMS HIS BOWIE KNIFE down into the top of her head. Teen Vampire Girl collapses like a puppet who's had its strings cut. Horst returns his knife to its scabbard and shines his flashlight into the darkness. A stairway leads down. Father Ortega coughs and gags. FATHER ORTEGA The stench! It is unbearable. CINDY That's the undead for ya. Time's a-wasting, let's keep moving. Dollan looks up at the rotted ceiling. DOLLAN Uh, they're right above us.... The ceiling gives way in a shower of debris and dust and SIX TEEN VAMPIRES drop down into the hallway, screeching like hungry animals, which they are. Cindy hauls Father Ortega back and shoulders Dollan into the wall, even as she draws her Desert Eagles and blasts the vampires, aiming for their heads, killing two of them, then two more. She ducks as Horst fires a loud burst that shreds the rest of the vampires from the shoulders up, spattering them across the walls. The doors to left and right burst open and MORE VAMPIRES charge out, mouths open, fangs extended. Cindy drapes herself over Father Ortega, shielding him with her body. TWO GRENADES EXPLODE, BLAM BLAM. When the smoke clears, Horst picks Dollan up and dusts him off. DOLLAN (coughing) I'm okay, I'm fine, who are you again? Cindy straightens and helps Father Ortega up, he's shaking like a leaf. CINDY You okay, Father? Father Ortega looks at the numerous mutilated vampire corpses lying everywhere. He crosses himself. FATHER ORTEGA They were once God's creatures. CINDY Well they belong to Satan now, so let him worry about them. FATHER ORTEGA How can you make light of this? CINDY Because if I didn't, I'd blow my own brains out. (to Horst) A little more warning next time? Horst shrugs apologetically. HORST Sorry. INT. CELLAR - DAY They descend into a large square room. Their flashlights reveal it's completely empty. Everybody looks at Dollan, who taps his scanner as if trying to clear a glitch. DOLLAN No mistake, there's something down here. He slowly turns around on the spot, giving each wall a thorough scan. He stops, and goes back a bit, and steps forward so he's in front of a blank wall. CINDY What is it? DOLLAN False wall. Someone took real good care to hide it. Why can't I ever find tradesmen this good? CINDY Everybody fall back to the stairs. They do as they're told, Horst escorting a puzzled Father Ortega. Cindy takes a dark green tube from under her jacket. She pulls both ends and it extends to twice its former length. She flicks up an aiming sight. CINDY Fire in the hole! She pulls a trigger and a rocket belches from the tube, Cindy's already moving away and ducking as the rocket hits the wall and explodes, BLAM. Debris and smoke. FATHER ORTEGA Madre de Dios! He crosses himself, because the removal of the wall has revealed a casket lying in a hidden space. Their flashlight beams move up and down the casket, picking out ornate carvings. And a name plaque in Gothic lettering: DRAKUL Horst hears something upstairs, he climbs the stairway and exits into the hallway. Seconds later his Minigun starts blasting. SCREECHES and AGONIZED SCREAMS echo. Cindy cautiously moves closer to the casket, covering it with her Desert Eagles. DOLLAN Sunset is 7 minutes away! CINDY Tell me something I don't know. (to Father Ortega) Father! What do you feel? FATHER ORTEGA This is the source of the evil, I am sure of it. CINDY Then prepare yourself. Father Ortega holds up his Bible and his silver crucifix. CINDY I was hoping for Holy water. Father Ortega frowns and reaches inside his jacket, brings out a silver flask. CINDY Open it! Have it ready! Father Ortega unscrews the flask stopper. FATHER ORTEGA I'm sorry, I'm not used to this. Horst's Minigun stops shooting. An eerie silence. Cindy looks upstairs, perhaps hoping to see Horst, but he doesn't appear. CINDY Okay, in three. She aims her Desert Eagles at the casket. CINDY One. Two. She starts blasting, punching huge holes in the side of the casket, until her Desert Eagles click empty. She tosses them down and wrenches open the casket lid, smoke billows out. CINDY NOW! Father Ortega steps up and empties his flask into the casket interior, glug glug glug. But it takes too long and Cindy slaps the flask out of his hand, it falls into the casket. She slams the lid shut. Cindy scoops up a Desert Eagle, ejects the empty magazine and slides a fresh magazine from her belt into the butt. She does the same with the second Desert Eagle. Never taking her eyes off the casket. But as the seconds drag on, Cindy and Dollan glance at each other, wary that something isn't right. FATHER ORTEGA What is it? CINDY When Holy water dissolves a vampire there's usually a lot of hissing. Like a chemical reaction. And thrashing. They thrash a lot. She cautiously approaches the casket again. Uses the barrel of a Desert Eagle to lift the lid up. Peers inside, while covering whatever's in there with both guns. She glances at Dollan. He steps up and looks inside. And we get a quick glimpse of what he sees. A red-haired teen girl lies in the casket, trussed up like a turkey, a gag in her mouth. She's dead as a doornail. You would be too if you had a dozen .50 caliber bullets in you. Lying beside her is a grinning skull with huge vampire fangs. Dollan lowers his voice so only Cindy can hear him. DOLLAN That's Jennifer Belvedere, the police chief's daughter. She went missing two nights ago. Cindy closes the casket lid. DOLLAN That skull.... CINDY A vampire. But not the one we're looking for. FATHER ORTEGA Is he dead? Have we destroyed him? Cindy opens her mouth to reply, but gasps because Horst has appeared at the top of the stairway, he's completely drenched in blood from head to feet. HORST I think I got them all. Is the motherfvcker dead? CINDY Incendiary. Horst pulls a red grenade from his belt and tosses it to her. Cindy plucks it out of the air. She pulls the ring, opens the casket lid a few inches and drops the grenade in. Lets the lid fall shut. CINDY Let's go. They exit the cellar, climbing the stairs. Cindy pushes Father Ortega before her. INT. HALLWAY - DAY They retrace their steps, heading for the entrance. Alert all the way, in case other fiends attack them. Behind them, a WHOOSH of fire consuming the cellar below, a distant orange glow touches the hallway. EXT. OLD HOUSE IN THE WOODS - DAY They return to the SUV and wearily climb aboard. EXT. HORIZON - SUNSET - DAY/NIGHT The last few seconds of daylight, as the Sun sinks out of sight, throwing shadow over the world. INT. SUV (MOVING) - NIGHT Driving away from the old house... Horst at the wheel, Dollan in the front passenger seat, Cindy in the back with Father Ortega, who smiles a happy smile. FATHER ORTEGA It is a great thing we did. Dollan glances in the rear view mirror but says nothing. CINDY Yep, good job. Cindy looks out the window, lost in her own thoughts. Behind her own reflection, she sees the cruel leering face of the master vampire she has sworn to destroy. He throws back his head and laughs like a maniac, enjoying his victory. His image fades and Cindy stares at her own face again. EXT. NIGHT SKY - NIGHT One by one, the stars come out. FADE OUT
Results - Halloween Contest 2022 copied from the DDP thread: 01 Oct 2022 Here are the results of the 2022 Halloween contest! 1st 2nd 3rd Total Bottled Demon - Southern_land 1 1 The Last Laugh - dpaterso 2 3 1 13 Car31 Where Are You? - Haskell 1 2 5 Hail To Thee Ralph King - Haskell 2 1 7 Diamond - Centos 1 3 1 10 Daniel's Monster - Bioprofessor 1 1 1 6 Please join me in congratulating... uh, me... for taking most votes with The Last Laugh, I do apologize. Thanks to Mark Somers, Hasil Adkins and Mitchell McLean for taking time to read and vote, embiggening the numbers. 1st place vote earned 3 points, 2nd = 2, 3rd = 1. Shout if you find any problems with my arithmetic. I removed the Voted column, all the contestants voted so no need for bonus points to balance the scores. Thanks for taking part! Don't be dismayed if you didn't score higher than you did, a different set of readers could easily have produced a different set of results. Also these contests are all about writing to theme and deadline, so you got that going for you, well done. You're invited to post thoughts and comments in this thread, if you have 'em.